Crossing New Bridges: Identity Crisis

I just had a birthday. Now my age ends in zero though I don't feel any older. Do I have sudden urges to buy sports cars or electric scooters? Might it be time for an identity crisis?

The neighbor just sold their house. They will rent elsewhere starting a month from now. It seems sudden. There was never even a "for sale" sign. What's the rush?

It is a prime moment for identity crises, as covid-19 starts to wind down. We've had some time to reflect. Are we living congruently with our true selves?

I've had various identities through my life. In high school, there were the standard identities that are still around per the above. Following that, "what's your major?" led to an answer that was my identity. Career aspirations tend to define college aged people. Last month, my alma mater sponsored a Facebook event with actor, Dan Levy. There were few questions about Dan, himself. An hour of student questions related to how to get entertainment industry jobs matching the dreams of students.

In my late twenties and early thirties, I had an identity defined by job title. I was officially a product development engineer. My job title reflected myself better than any previous identity. I DID actually live my dream. The job title was distinct from my identity though. It wasn't so much what people called me. It was the job activity itself, in support of a company that prioritized product development. I idealized the product development role as a way to broadly improve the living conditions of the world.

Was I imagining that the focus of the company was changing from year to year? It took me a year to prove to myself whether what I hoped was still real actually was not real. My hardest week was when after concluding the company talked about (and no longer actually cared about) product development, I walked away.

What changed wasn't me. Nonetheless, this change led me to an identity crisis. Was I the person I identified as? Was I the same as the person others saw? How can I be a product developer without products to develop?

What do I do after leaving the job title that defines my identity?

This is what I did. I still do the majority of this.

My Transition Approach:

n Writers Group
n Networking
n Volunteering
n Travel
n Season tickets, not TV

A high point of the coping I needed to do was a party I held in 2003 or 2004 for liberated workers. This casual and fun daytime event with friends outside the 9-5 grind helped me over the stigma that I felt about no longer "earning a living" through a relationship with an employer.

(Throughout all this time, I have purposefully stayed career adjacent in case, like the college students, I become motivated by dreams about writing for others.)

Intermittently, while in my "liberated worker" days, some saw me and sometimes I saw myself as a traveler, radio host and board member.

Presently, I define myself by my family and my role as a parent.

We create our identity by identifying along different axes: