Caution: Live a Great Story. The sticker playfully vandalized a sign in a state park that provided a warning for those who might not have been close attention that the trail narrowed and was slowly winding down hill towards river rapids. There were areas of the trail that were rockier, more slippery, seemingly more dangerous.
I told my husband that there was a story right there, with that sign and that sticker. It was full of real life, right there, facing us in that sign and sticker. How often do we half heartedly challenge ourselves and then feel more pride than we should about the "risk" we just overcame? How often do we caution ourselves to avoid risks that might make a great story later, just because we don't have the courage? How often do we actually risk more than we should, often without seeing another option, and while we end up with a great story, it was never a great experience?
Living itself is a risk. Every day we wake up, we have no idea what will happen. We have some, but not total, control. What is the benefit of seeking out greater risks than just waking up? What is the benefit of not taking new chances?
My 5 year old doesn't understand risk yet. That caution sign in the park? To her it was an invitation to run and have lots of fun. When it was rocky, she knew that she had to tread carefully. But, a big, leaf covered hill? Who can resist? The sign was really meant for us to ensure we kept her close.
But, what about the times we don't keep her close? When she was not quite 2, she ran across two front yards to meet an older boy that she didn't know who was bouncing a basketball by himself.
She stared at him. He stopped bouncing his ball and stared back at her. She wasn't yet talking. He was 9 year old, but didn't seem to know how to deal with a toddler approaching him.
My husband made introductions. Those two have become best friends because of the risk our daughter took. Turns out, the boy's family was used to way more risks than most of us American born citizens will likely ever face. When the boy was 2, his entire family was poisoned in their home country of Democratic Republic of Congo. He spent the next 6 years with his family in a Refugee Camp in Uganda before moving to the USA.
His family took a risk. They have a great story. But, their experience wasn't great.
In 2005, interest rates were low and friends around me convinced me to start looking for a house. I searched many houses, and found one that I liked. I took a risk and purchased the house. It is an old 98 year old house. There have been frustrations, there have been joys- both have lead to great stories. Is this really the greatest risk that I have ever done? In my mind, it is. Seems trivial when so many before me have done the same in life. But, as I said before, just waking up every morning is the first risk we take every day.
Yet, that is where many of us exist. The low risk plane where our decisions for the day do not cause great thought. We take the paths most traveled and still somehow think our experience is unique to us.
Is that wrong? Avoiding all moderate to high risks could lead to undeveloped potential. I recently had a student intern who really had no passion for the job that she had spent 4 years studying, but she decided to just continue to plug away because of the time and money already invested. To her, there was even greater risk at spending more time and money to explore yet another career choice. Sure, she could go on and eventually settle into a job where she was mediocre. But, there is probably a career that suits her better if she would just cross that new bridge.
But, what do successful risk takers have in come with those who have either been unsuccessful in taking a risk or have avoided a risk because of unwarranted fear? A clear goal in sight.
My daughter who is a social butterfly, who takes the risk to meet people and loves to travel- her objective is to explore and learn as much about the world that surrounds her as she can because she knows that with that knowledge leads to independence.
The neighbors who risked their lives in Democratic Republic of Congo? Their goal was safety. Safety for themselves, their extended families, their neighbors. Even though they are safer now in the USA, they are still with the people they left behind and continue to work to make the area safer for others.
Even low risk decisions, such as buying a house, come with clear goals if they are to be successful. My goal when I bought my house was something that was affordable, which to me meant lower mortgage payment than my rent. Something that was centrally located to allow efficient travel around the city. Something that was solidly built. And the ultimate goal was financial. I wanted to keep my money and not be giving it to a landlord for the rest of my lift.
What do people who do not cross those new bridges seem to have in common? Lack of a clear goal.
When I asked the student what her goal was after she was
done with her internship, her response was simply that she wanted a part time
job somewhere. It never seemed to matter to her where, or what the job was, or
what it paid, or even if it had benefits (her husband had the benefits). It
wasn't clear why she paid money for this particular graduate degree or why she
was spending time at a place at which she clearly did not want to be. It wasn't
clear what she was hoping to learn at her internship. She seemed mostly
interested in maximizing her time with her family at home. Was her goal really
to be a stay at home mother, but she thought society would look down on her? I
can't say for sure. But, I can say that actually doing what you want, instead
of what you think society wants you to do, is actually risky. And if what you
want is legal, gives you positive benefits that outweigh any negative losses,
then it is likely a good risk to take. Doesn't matter if it feels like a small,
low risk to you or a big, high risk to you. If you have a clear goal in mind,
and the risk you will take gives you positive rewards that outweigh any
negatives, that risk is most often worth it.
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